[Day 2] Solution-oriented, yay or nay?

During the day, I thought of so many ideas for the topic of today writing. Clearly, I stopped by the street for a couple times when riding my sister to her school this afternoon to write down what popped into my head. To be honest, I am truly a Dory so it’s better to jot down pieces of thinking on the phone whenever possible. Anyway, after coming back from my part-time job, I opened my laptop to start writing and yet ended up in having no idea where to start and how to develop the fragments collected previously within the day.

Then, I chose to take a break surfing facebook for a little joy.

What struck me, however, was a post of my friend who is mentally devastated because of a number of different shits she had to face lately. One thing of note was the fact, she mentioned, that she was always a solution-oriented person. For every problem that hits her, “What should I do next?” is always the first to come to her mind. Once in a while, I found myself somewhere in the stage of crisis she is going through, except that I had been out of there long ago.

Back to the point, what does being solution-oriented really mean? Here is what I found after 3-4 times searching on Google for the most relevant meaning:

solution oriented meaning

I must admit that I have trained myself to become solution-oriented since my 2nd year of college. Back then, I dedicated all of my energy to making a solid foundation for my team in a club. Things were so much challenging as I myself aspired to build a systematic workflow and strategies for development. Problems and crises hit me hard in the first place, but I decided to become mentally stronger as everyone unconditionally counted on me. Every time shits were thrown at me, I chose to think of a solution instead of getting obsessed with the problem itself. Soon it started to become one of my core traits that most of my friends were able to recognize.

Frankly, being solution-oriented is my pride. In life and work, it helps me get further because of skipping the anxiety to the action stage. However, it seemed to be a little way backward when I was mentally shattered after a breakup last summer. At that time, all I was thinking about was “What should I do?“, “How could I fix this?“, “Is there action I can take?“, “It isn’t too late, is it?“. Everything was about finding a solution, any, to repair the problem and save the relationship. But, as you might have guessed, it ended up in going nowhere and the talks I talked as well as the actions I took at last minutes went all up in smoke.

So what is the point here? Is it always good to be solution-oriented?

From all the experiences I have been through, I must say that “Yes, it’s good. And I’m happy to be a solution-oriented person“. Yet, I also must concede that how we take advantage of it is far more important. To be clearer, depending on the contexts, being solution-oriented helps concentrate on thinking about the actions of solving the problem instead of sitting down and worrying as f. However, sometimes being rationally solution-oriented, especially in relationships, is not necessarily helpful, because feelings and emotions are too IMMEASURABLE for a solution to be found. The ups and downs of relationships cannot be considered as the problems, as they are undeniably part of growing love stronger between people. Therefore, no solution should be sought as it will end up in being helpless, and even worse.

In brief, being solution-oriented is a choice. So make it wise.

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